181208

Baby,u asked me ytd if i was disappointed and sad that u cant go,i said no but of course u know i am utterly disappointed.guessed i put too much hope and was really looking forward to spend the week with u overseas at this special event at this special place for the 1st time but Heaven played a trick on us.. :(

Just looked at ur blog,u mentioned abt someone,i am not sure who but i can feel he meant a lot to u in the past and probably even till now..maybe i shouldnt be thinking so much but i am also human,u cant expect me to just pretend i didnt see it and just do nothing abt it,maybe now i am not in the best of mood so i see everything with a negative thought..u also mentioned u wanted to go home so badly..maybe not being able to go to Mexico is a blessing in disguise,u get to go back and do the things u need to do,see the people u miss so much..

Sometimes i cant help to wonder where do i really stand in ur heart,maybe we just know each other for a while so its too early really to tell how much i really meant to u..only time can tell...

I send u a sms earlier on,maybe God didnt want u to see it cos if u do i really dun know how u will feel and react.Just saw ur latest blog entry,can see u really missed home.felt so useless,despite what i do,it still cant help even a bit..God,pls guide me on what i should do..........